بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
‘Ya Allah, please let me get married soon.”
Do you find yourself making this dua in your salahs lately? I feel you girl. It can get pretty lonely sometimes, especially when everyone around you is handing out wedding invitations like handing out candies.
You can’t help but wonder when you’ll ever meet the right man since he seems to be nonexistent. It’s agonizing.
Fear not, love. Allah says:
It is He who created you from one soul and created from it its mate that he might dwell in security with her… (Surah Al-A’raf, 7:189)
Allah is the One who made you therefore He knows who you will be getting married to and when it should happen. Your job is to continue trusting His timing and doing your best to improve yourself day by day, so that when the right time finally comes, you’ll be ready for it.
Here are 7 things you will need to love yourself as a single Muslim woman. 🙂
1. A life rich with experiences
Are there places you want to go to? Things you want to try? People you want to meet? Now is the best time to do it because when you’re married, sometimes you have to ask for your husband’s permission or do it with him, it’s not the same you know.
Let me tell you something weird I loved to do when I was single.
In Malaysia, we have a somewhat comfortable train called ERL that takes us to the nice places around KL like Putrajaya, the airport etc. It has beautifully cushioned seats and tables in some areas so, naturally it’s slightly more expensive than the normal LRT train that people take to go to work but there’s a lot less people and it’s so much more comfortable so it’s totally worth it.
When I was single, I used to get on the ERL and sit in there for hours on the weekends reading good books, writing in my journal, meeting tourists and daydreaming. It was honestly one of the best times of my life. I love to daydream so the ambiance is just perfect.
Find out what you love to do and go do it! This is the best time to do anything you want because you’re not tied up to some guy. Heyy, if you’re lucky you may even meet your future spouse along the way, who knows right? Go ahead and have fun! (within the boundaries of Islam of course 😉 )
2. Strong Family Ties
If you have people in your life that are not on good terms with you right now, try to invest your time to reconcile with them. The first people you should look into are your parents. Make sure you use this time to fully take care of their needs and make them feel truly loved and cherished.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “The Lord’s pleasure is in the parent’s pleasure, and the Lord’s anger is in the parent’s anger.” (At-Tirmidhi)
If you are not on good terms with them, your future marriage may lose its barakah because (according to the hadith above) Allah will not be pleased with you if your parents are not pleased with you.
So if you truly want a beautiful and barakah-filled marriage in the future, devote this precious extra time in your single days to make your folks happy and pleased with you.
Also, do it because Allah would be pleased with you. InsyaAllah.
3. Wisdom behind the timing of life events
Life is really funny. Some people marry in their 20’s but divorce in their 40s. Some marry at 40 and live happily together until Jannah. It’s not about marrying fast, it’s about marrying when you’re truly ready with the right person insyaAllah.
If Allah has destined your man to marry you, he will not marry anyone else but you at the right time and place that Allah has ordained. So don’t worry about it, love. Trust Allah’s timing and keep on pleasing Him.
Make dua every day to meet your man at the best time and place according to His divine planning insyaAllah. He truly knows best and He is the best of planners. 🙂
They planned, but Allah also planned. And Allah is the best of planners. (Surah Al-Anfal, 8:30)
4. A Beautiful Character
Dive into a committed journey of self-improvement and personal growth. They say you have to love yourself before you can truly love another. There’s a lot of truth in that. When you’ve truly invested in yourself and understand yourself in and out, you can better cater to your own needs without relying on others to fulfill you.
Automatically, you’ll come out at the end of the road with a newfound character and identity. That is probably exactly what you need to meet the man of your dreams insyaAllah.
Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said: ‘The best of you in Islam is the best of you in character when they possess understanding (of the deen).’ (Sahih Al-bani)
5. Your tribe
Keep your close friends closer during these hard times. Confide in them, find comfort in them and just tell them how you feel. You’ll feel a lot better once you let it out to someone instead of keeping it to yourself. You can reach out to me too if you want. 🙂
If you don’t have a tribe yet, get a group of friends that share your interests and passions.
6. A special Bond with Allah
Make Allah your first lover before you fall in love with His creation – aka your future husband. Invest time to get to know your Creator through the Quran and Sunnah.
Suggestions:
- Read the Quran with translations and tafseer regularly. Ponder upon His messages and reflect how you can apply them into your life.
- Wake up for Tahajjud at night and let your heart out to Him.
7. A grateful Heart for your Singlehood
Being single only comes once in a lifetime. (assuming we’ll have a strong future marriage that lasts till Jannah – insyaAllah). So, open your heart and look for all the blessings that come with it.
- You have more time to yourself
- You don’t have to answer to anyone
- You’re not responsible for anyone
- You have total freedom to explore yourself and what you love ❤️😍
I honestly love my single years. They’re the best. If you haven’t fallen in love with your single days yet, that just shows you haven’t explored enough.
Go out there and achieve great things. You won’t regret it. Create a life you love to the point that you don’t need a man to fulfill you. That’s the best way to get your future spouse to be attracted to you in the first place insyaAllah.
Conclusion
Marriage is a beautiful thing to yearn for. You are absolutely on the right track for wanting to get married Alhamdulillah. But you have to also remember that it comes with BIG responsibilities. Most of us are just not ready for that kind of lifetime commitment. So, take it easy, develop yourself and understand the world better.
Allah will definitely know the exact time you’re ready. When that time comes, He’ll bring your prince charming in the most beautiful way insyaAllah.
Don’t forget to make dua for a beautiful marriage in your every Salah, okay. 🙂
All the best, love.
Salam,
Aimi
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Any good from this article is from Allah and any evil is from the shaytaan and me. May Allah forgive our shortcomings in practicing His deen.
Wa billahi tawfeeq wa hidayah
(All successes come from Allah and His guidance).
Rina says
Just stumbled upon your page after my relationship was over. For once I forgot how it felt to be single after having someone next to me every day. Your page reminds me of my old self, the one who cherished every moment in life and traveled a lot, especially the first point with the train! Thanks for this amazing article!