THE KHALIFAH DIARIES Be The Best Muslimah For Allah SWT

Bismillah بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Balancing Motherhood and Teaching: Finding Quality Time with My Daughter

Life has been a whirlwind lately. Between teaching at school, managing online classes, and taking care of Maryam, I barely have a moment to breathe. Every day starts early at 8:15 AM when I head to school, and by the time I return at 7:30 PM, I still have more classes to teach. Most nights, Maryam doesn’t sleep until 11 PM, which is far from ideal for a two-year-old. I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt for not spending enough quality time with her.

The Struggle of Finding Balance

I keep reminding myself that this phase is temporary—that soon, things will settle, and I’ll have more freedom. As Allah reminds us in the Quran:

“For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.” (Quran 94:5-6)

When I was a stay-at-home mom, I had all the time in the world to read to her, do chores together, and just enjoy our bond. But back then, we lacked financial stability, and I felt uninspired. Now, teaching brings me purpose and fulfillment, but I don’t want it to come at the expense of my relationship with Maryam.

Maryam’s Transition to School Life

Maryam comes to school with me, but she is still adjusting. The playschool mainly caters to 4-6-year-olds, making her the youngest there. Since she doesn’t follow their schedule, I still have to manage her diaper changes, food, and overall care. Most importantly, she doesn’t want to leave my sight. Even when I go to the bathroom, she stands outside crying for me. I wonder if this is typical for all toddlers or if it’s because of the drastic change in her environment.

At home, she was used to a quiet, calm setting with just the two of us. Now, she’s surrounded by the hustle and bustle of a school environment. The school operates in a large bungalow-style house, where teachers and students interact like one big extended family. While it’s a beautiful atmosphere, I fear that it might be overwhelming for her.

The Joy of Teaching and Growth

Despite the challenges, I love teaching. It pushes me out of my comfort zone and allows me to make an impact. This week is orientation before the academic year officially begins, and I’m in charge of classroom setup. My job is to ensure the classrooms are beautifully decorated, establish clear classroom rules, and create a positive mindset among the students.

Tomorrow, students will be making their Classroom Rules Poster, and on Friday, we’re holding a competition where they’ll present their class goals, expectations, and dreams. I can’t wait to see how their creativity shines! As the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

“The best among you are those who learn the Quran and teach it.” (Bukhari)

Teaching allows me to fulfill this beautiful role, but I still need to ensure I’m giving Maryam the best of me.

Prioritizing Quality Time with Maryam

One of my biggest worries is finding dedicated time for Maryam. By the time I’m free in the evening, she’s already exhausted. And in the mornings, she’s not awake before I leave. It feels like our bonding moments are slipping away.

I need to carve out time for meaningful interactions, even if it’s just 30 minutes of uninterrupted connection—reading books, cuddling, or simply talking to her. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was known for his gentleness and attentiveness toward children. He once said:

“Verily Allah loves kindness in all things.” (al-Bukhari, 6024)

I want Maryam to feel secure, loved, and nurtured, even amid my busy schedule.

A New Blessing: My Sister Joins the School

One bright spot this week is that my sister has joined the school as a shadow teacher for children with autism. Now, we get to commute together and share this journey. Having family around makes everything feel a little lighter.

Moving Forward with Gratitude

Life is full of trade-offs. Being a stay-at-home mom had its beautiful moments, but it lacked the sense of growth and purpose that I now cherish as a teacher. The challenge is finding a way to balance both worlds.

For now, I remind myself that this struggle is not permanent. With time, Maryam will adjust, and I will find a rhythm that allows me to thrive as a mother and teacher. Allah has blessed me with opportunities, and I trust that with every hardship, He will bring ease.

As I navigate this journey, I hold onto faith and the dua:

“My Lord, make easy for me my task.” (Quran 20:25-26)

No matter how overwhelming life gets, I know that motherhood and career can coexist—I just need to keep making dua, planning wisely, and cherishing the moments I have.

May Allah make it easy for all working mothers who strive to provide for their families while nurturing their children with love. Ameen.