بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
“Every son of Adam commits sin, and the best of those who commit sin are those who repent.” (Sunan Ibn Majah 4251)
As fallible human beings, we are bound to sin no matter how much we avoid it. It is inevitable simply because Allah SWT created us – humans – to not be perfect.
When Allah SWT told the angels that He wanted to create us – the human species who will be ‘successors’ (khalifahs) on earth, the angels asked:
“Will You place upon it one who causes corruption therein and sheds blood, while we exalt You with praise and declare Your perfection?” (Al-Baqarah:30)
Allah responded:
(Al-Baqarah:30)
“I know what you do not know.”
Allah SWT did not answer why in the verse, but Rasulullah SAW said:
“By Him in Whose Hand is my life, if you were not to commit sin, Allah would sweep you out of existence and He would replace (you by) those people who would commit sin and seek forgiveness from Allah, and He would have pardoned them.” (Sahih Muslim 2749)
It is one of the wisdoms of Allah that He created us purposefully weak and sinful so that we may humble ourselves and return to Him in repentance as an act of worship and obedience.
Those who deny Allah and refuse to repent are arrogant souls. They refuse to accept that Allah is their Al-Mighty Creator and that we are merely created as His servants.
As we understand our position as His servants, we should constantly engage in Tawbah even when we feel we have not sinned.
This is because there are many times we may not realize that we are actually sinning. For example, you might have spoken a little too harshly to a loved one today.
Even when you do not realize it, it can still affect the purity of your heart. So you need to make Tawbah for it.
When we start to follow the footsteps of our beloved Rasulullah SAW, we will realize that eventhough he is the most noble of all people, he still humbled himself in front of Allah and made istighfar (zikr repentance) more than 70 times every single day.
Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) said:
I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) saying, “I swear by Allah that I seek Allah’s Pardon and turn to Him in repentance more than seventy times a day.” (Riyad as-Salihin 1870)
That is Rasulullah SAW. So what does that make of us? If we truly love him SAW, we should be doing the same.
Let’s first look at what Tawbah means.
Meaning of Tawbah
Tawbah (repentance) means to return to Allah SWT and to rectify our behaviour after having sinned.
Islam caters to tawbah for all sorts of sins. For the major sins such as zina (fornication), riba (interest) and other haram deeds, you can do tawbah nasuha.
While for everyday minor sins, we can make istighfar and take wudu to wipe out our sins.
Here are 10 important points you need to remember when engaging in Tawbah.
1. Allah loves the repenters
“… Indeed, Allāh loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.” (Al-Baqarah:222)
Why does Allah keep repeating in the Quran that He loves those who repent?
Because He knows that those with sincere hearts will feel deep remorse for their sins.
It can feel as if we are extremely bad and that there is no hope for us to be forgiven.
We shame ourselves into believing that we do not deserve Allah’s forgiveness.
And in these vulnerable times, syaitan keeps whispering to you that what you have done was so detrimental to the point that Allah is angry at you and He will never forgive you.
But that is the syaitan playing tricks on you.
It is not true.
Rather, Allah says He loves the repenters and will forgive any sin no matter how big or small as long as you are a Muslim.
2. You are expected to do your best, not to be perfect
“If Allah finds goodness in your hearts, He will give you better than what has been taken from you, and forgive you. For Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Al-Anfal: 70)
Trying to be perfect is an illusion. No one is perfect. Almost all the noble prophets mentioned in the Quran have made mistakes and Allah forgave them all as an example for us to not be hard on ourselves.
You are only required to be good and to do your best.
For example, prophet Younus A.S gave up dakwah on his people and left. So Allah reprimanded him by allowing a whale to swallow him whole. In other words, he did not do his best. Therefore, Allah taught him a lesson.
Prophet Dawud A.S gave a hasty judgement to the two disguising angels who sought for his advice in his tower. Allah forgave him and said he is one of the righteous.
Prophet Moses A.S accidentally punched a man to death. Can you imagine? And still, Allah forgave him and gave him many blessings right after – a new wife, a good job, shelter and protection etc.
So you see, no one expects you to be perfect, not even Allah. And Allah knows us best because He is the One who created us in the first place.
He knows that we are bound to make mistakes therefore He keeps reminding us that His doors to mercy are always open. Come in. Just do your best, that is enough in the eyes of Allah.
3. Fear of falling back into sin is a sign of Taqwa
“And whoever has Taqwa of Allah – He will make for him a way out and will provide for him from where he does not expect.” (At-Talaq: 2-3)
When you make Tawbah and you fear falling back into that sin more than anything else, that, my friend, is a sign of Taqwa.
What is Taqwa, you may ask?
According to Abu Hurairah RA, Taqwa is like someone who is carefully taking one step at a time on a pathway full of thorns so as not to step on the thorns. (Az Zuhdul Kabir, Hadith: 978)
The analogy shows that if you have Taqwa, you are someone who is careful when making decisions in life so as not to displease Allah in any of your actions.
In other words, you are conscious of Allah.
I’ve felt this many times Alhamdulillah. When we fall into sin and Allah gave us guidance to come back to His straight path, we become fearful that we might go back to our ignorant ways and displease Allah.
That is actually a sign of Taqwa in the heart. So if you have that, say ‘Alhamdulillah’ because Allah is the One who gave you Taqwa too. You won’t have anything without His permission. 🙂
4. Mending relationships with others is necessary
“Whoever does not show mercy to the people, Allah will not show mercy to him.” (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1922)
If our past mistakes have hurt others, we need to make amends. This is to save ourselves on the day of judgement when everyone will be judged fairly.
No one will have their rights forwent in the hereafter. Everyone will be scrambling for every little good deed they can get in order to qualify for Jannah.
So if you have wronged someone and you have unfinished business with that person, they might look for you on judgement day and demand compensation.
You could be in big trouble then. So why not save yourself the trouble and just apologize now. If they don’t accept your apology then that is not your fault. You are already off the hook.
5. Your actions were bad, not you
It was narrated that Abu Hurairah said:
“The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, although both are good. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless. If anything befalls you, do not say, “if only I had done such and such” rather say “Qaddara Allahu wa ma sha’a fa’ala (Allah has decreed and whatever he wills, He does).” For (saying) ‘If’ opens (the door) to the deeds of Satan.'” (Sunan Ibn Majah 79)
When you make mistakes, do you see yourself as a bad person or do you blame your bad choices but still see yourself as a good person?
It is important to see ourselves separate from our actions. When you make a mistake, you need to understand that it was because you lack knowledge therefore it has led you to make bad and uninformed choices.
It was not because you were a bad person who purposely wanted to sin. You are the same kind and sincere soul, that is why Allah has chosen you to be brought back to His straight path.
Otherwise, He would have left you to continue drowning in your sins till this day. So, do not shame yourself for your past mistakes.
“…it is Allah Who has done you a favour by guiding you to the faith, if indeed you are faithful.” (Al-Hujurat:17)
Shaming yourself is seeing yourself as a bad person for what you have done, while feeling guilty is understanding that you are still a good person, you just made the wrong choices and that led to bad actions.
When you feel guilty but do not shame yourself for your past mistakes, your identity is intact.
You can move on as a healthy person versus blaming yourself and dwelling in your past mistakes causing you to stay stuck and unproductive. That will not benefit anyone, especially you.
6. Every emotion is valid
In the process of making Tawbah, you will go through many emotions. Some people feel angry, sad, remorse and all kinds of intense emotions.
It is important to accept and embrace these emotions as they come because emotions are windows to the soul. It tells us exactly how our souls are doing.
For example, if we feel remorse, we may have disappointed ourselves by making choices that went against our values.
Try to reflect on it, journal it out so that you can understand yourself and release the emotions in a healthy way rather than suppressing them.
Suppressing emotions will only cause more discomfort in your heart instead of solving the problem. Every emotion is valid. It tells you the state of your heart and soul. So listen to it.
The best way to release all your negative emotions is to vent to Allah in your sujood during Tahajjud.
Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allah said:
“Our Lord descends every night to the nearest heaven, until the last third of the night remains, so He says: ‘Who is calling upon Me so that I may answer him? Who is asking from Me so that I may give him? And who is seeking forgiveness from Me, so that I may forgive him.’” (Jami` at-Tirmidhi 3498)
That is why Allah orders Tahajjud to be performed in the night time because it is the perfect time for you to be alone with Allah.
Tell Allah everything that’s burdening your heart. He will definitely help you find a way out insyaAllah.
Also, reading the Quran and making zikr every day, will also cause your heart to be more content and closer to Allah insyaAllah.
7. Accepting responsibility for what happened is a sign of trust in Allah
“…Once you make a decision, put your trust in Allah. Surely Allah loves those who trust in Him.” (Ali Imran: 159)
Accepting responsibility for every mistake we ever made takes courage.
We may owe someone an apology and we will need to learn from our mistakes and change our ways so that we won’t fall into the same sins.
Any change needs tremendous courage. You are facing your own inner demons and telling them to shut up, you are going to do the right thing from now on.
No matter how big or small our mistakes are, changing our previous actions and way of thinking is uncomfortable.
But if you do it with a sincere heart, to please Allah SWT and become a better Muslim, insyaAllah He will make it easy for you.
When you remember Allah’s promise to reward you with Jannah for all your good deeds, and you fear Allah for all His threats of an unbearable punishment in Jahannam, remembering these facts pushes you to fight syaitan yet another day, you have showed that you truly trust Allah’s promises in the Quran.
That is what Allah wants from you. To trust Allah in all your affairs and keep striving for His cause.
8. Every creature of Allah deserves compassion & mercy including you
“…and do not throw with your hands into destruction . And do good; indeed, Allah loves the doers of good…” (Al-Baqarah: 195)
When we feel remorse for our past sins, we may have a tendency to beat ourselves up and dwell in our mistakes.
We think if only we could turn back time and not make those bad choices, we would not end up in this mess.
But Allah is utterly Merciful. And He expects us to be merciful to ourselves too because we are His creation.
We need to have the same level of respect, compassion and love for ourselves at all times, just as we would with other creatures.
Most of us have no problem treating everyone else kindly, but when it comes to ourselves, we beat ourselves up and assume the worst.
This is not right. Allah wants you to treat yourself kindly too in all circumstances.
When you love yourself and practice self-compassion every day, you will start to see Allah’s immense Mercy towards all His other creations too insyaAllah.
9. Thank Allah for the experience
“… All matters are destined by Allah.” (Ali-Imran:154)
Allah’s plans are divine. Everything you have ever experienced in your life from the time you were born happened by the will of Allah.
Allah knows that you can handle those situations and come back stronger or else He would not have allowed it to happen to you.
So trust Allah’s plans and thank Him for the experiences. Without experiencing the mistakes you made in the past, you would not be the person you are today.
Maybe you would be more distant from Allah and never would have found your way back to His straight path.
So be eternally greatful for everything you have been through eventhough it may look completely bitter on the outside.
Allah knows what He is doing. And Allah knows what is best for you. And He has decreed that you will go through this experience to come back to Him stronger.
Trust Him and keep doing your best for Him. That is how you can attain Jannah.
10. Your success is only by Allah
“…I cannot succeed without Allah’s help: I trust in Him, and always turn to Him.” (Hud:88)
What does true success mean? For a Mu’min, true success is being able to meet Allah in Jannah saying you have done your best to please Him in this world.
Even when everyone else is chasing the dunya, fighting for materialistic things and forgetting Allah’s existence, you went against the norm and continued to seek for His forgiveness and pleasure each day.
That means a lot in the eyes of Allah.
When you made a mistake, know that only Allah can heal your heart. No amount of self-care, affirmations, self-compassion or any other coping strategy will ever help you truly heal if you don’t make Tawbah and run back to Him.
This dunya will pull you in all different directions, causing you to be confused and deluded. Do not be fooled.
Allah has all the solution you need to attain ultimate success – Jannah.
Follow the Quran and Sunnah and you will never be astray anymore. InsyaAllah.
Conclusion
“…Surely Allah is ever Accepting of Repentance, Most Merciful.” (An-Nisa:16)
Everybody sins and makes mistakes. There is no escaping from it.
The most important thing you can do as a Muslim is to learn the right way of making Tawbah and to return to Allah as a stronger Mu’min.
Let’s make a dua as Allah taught us in the Quran:
“Our Lord! Do not punish us if we forget or make a mistake. Our Lord! Do not place a burden on us like the one you placed on those before us. Our Lord! Do not burden us with what we cannot bear. Pardon us, forgive us, and have mercy on us. You are our only Guardian. So grant us victory over the disbelieving people.” (Al-Baqarah:286)
May Allah grant us the ultimate success – Jannah – for humbling ourselves and seeking His forgiveness every day. Ameen.
Love & salam,
Umm Maryam
Any good from this article is from Allah and any evil is from the shaytaan and me. May Allah forgive our shortcomings in practicing His deen.
Wa billahi tawfeeq wa hidayah
(All successes come from Allah and His guidance).
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